#like in my brain
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my tummy hurts :/ and I’m sleepy and I’m lovesick and full of worms, parasites
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in all timelines in all possibilities only you can show me this
#artists on tumblr#Arcane#jayvik#Jayce Talis#Viktor#arcane spoilers#my art#I saw That Shot (you know the one) and my brain broke with how beautiful it was#and then I was like wait those colors... oh my god what if...#aaaand I've always wanted to draw the klimt kiss ref#looks like these two were the ones who got it in the end hah#but phew this tested me in so many ways with figuring things out
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shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this
#and by 'everyone' i mean me. im just hoping other people relate lmao#someone asks me about a thing i like and im just like h..................#been thinking about The Character for a solid 6 months+ and let me tell you. expldoeing soon#this is about ffxv btw . how am i supposed to say how much it lives in my brain . i cant think#text#1k#5k#10k#15k#20k#great googly moogly#30k#40k#50k#60k#boooy what da heeel#70k#80k#90k#will this be my first ever post to hit 100k... it remains to be seen#good lord. we did it#100k
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sharing a very sage bit of advice from The Simpsons' own John Swartzwelder that i've been trying to hamper down in my writing and drawing alike. let your inner crappy little elf do his worst
#i've been so blocked with writing and drawing lately and so i'm trying this out for my review of Bugs Bunny Gets the Boid and i can feel it#helping but i'll be so glad when i get to the revising stage because right now it feels like my brain has thousands of flaming needles#poking it and making me go AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! the perfectionism devil is hard to shake#but he will be no match for my crappy little elf
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part 1 of this post :3
if anyone has any silly sonadow comic / art ideas send me an ask pls i need to keep creating cutie patootie sonadow content 🙏 sfw ONLY you goobers
#sonic and shadow#sonadow comic#sonadow#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#sth#sth fanart#sonic 3#sonic movie 3#i'm neck deep in this hyperfixation right now guys i feel like im going to explode#all my brain knows is sonic and shadow rn#they are ruining my life
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The gang all together 👍
Sketch v final + refs below!
First pic was reffed from My Own Private Idaho, which ended up being a really bad idea because this focal length was ridiculous to try and flatten out and match with the others lol
Second pic was obvi The Pieta by Michelangelo, but shoutout to my partner for suggesting the role reversal cause I was initially gonna draw Viktor in Jayce's arms again, but having it the other way around gave me the idea for the last piece where they're mutually in each other's arms and on equal ground in the composition
Third pic was reffed from The Blossoming Of Love by Miquel Blay! Had to move Jayce's hand to Viktor's shoulder because he was too yolked for his arm to fit between them lmao
#GOD i don't like looking at the first one loooool. did not know what i was trying to do yet#en ee way. i like seeing other artists post sketch v finals so here ya go. but again ignore that first one <3#arcane#jayvik#arcane spoilers#jayce talis#viktor#fanart#ill be normal now i hopefully have freed my brain from this chokehold now that ive finished these
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you’re my hero!
bnha doomed yuri was not on my 2024 bingo card
(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)
#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#togachako#ochako uraraka#toga himiko#a snack for the og bnha followers if any of you are still here#really liked the lines on this one so i tried to go easy on the rendering#which has been burning me out lately#thankfully theres a cure for that (silly doodles)#no idea whats going on with the story though#like wdym bnha is ending???#I literally started watching as a high school freshman its been going on forever#i did hear abt the togachako storyline so this is a product of all the bits and pieces floating in my brain#doomed yuri my beloved#just girls supporting girls (ft incredible violence)
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People liking your personal OCs is still such a crazy feeling, I've been doing this for years and ppl asking about them still fills my entire heart with warmth and idk how to handle it
You enjoy this fictional guy I made up for fun?? Whose only content is random artwork or writing made by me and a handful of other artists at most? They have no show/book/game with a large fandom, it's just one person with an art blog?? I love u
#i do the same to others OCs I like I will ask all about em#if its my friends OC they probably have a free seat in my brain#kott talks#edit: ppl tagging this post with how personal and important their characters are to them as creators#and positive feedback hits deep because of it#I see you and I'm so happy for u
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beanbag chair psychology
#dtawing#homestuck#karkat vantas#rose lalonde#she's asking because she also has autism#WISH we'd seen more of these two interacting on the meteor they both love pretending to know about other people's brains#this took me like two days to make for no reason#i don't draw comics often#because usually by the time ive finished them ive rolled the punchline around in my brain so many times im worried its not funny anymore#but regardless#the Funny
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healing is when you have an intrusive thought and instead of having a meltdown you go “girl what?? shut up” and move on
#🍜#minding my business folding laundry and my brain went ‘i hope i die soon’ and i was just like ‘ok ??? who asked. anyways!’#🦠
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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#ordinary photo of yeti#they made astarion in a lab for me to be obsessed with.#like hottest man in game for me is halsin truthfully. astarion is my shitty little white dog with separation anxiety who bites people.#very different things. if i say i'm doing a playthrough as astarion that's when you put me down#main factor motivating me not to is i need to hear neil newbon's voice acting at least once a minute or i die.#i've got a dark urge concept rattling around the brain but i should maybe self-impose a gaming break and take care of. responsibilities 😐#babbling
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Oh Dipper, you would LOVE Chappell Roan
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#dipper pines#mabel pines#chappell roan#pink pony club#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#I was hit with this vision this morning#I NEED JASON TO DO A COVER 😭 PLEASE OUGH IT FEELS LIKE SUCH A SONG THAT DIPPER WOULD SING#same with Hot To Go#no way dipper’s hitting those high notes in Good Luck. Babe properly LMAOO#I had to scribble this up to get it out of my brain bc now I need to go line my illustration homework oops
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Last part whoo!!!
PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3 / PART 4
#I should clarify that I’ll be continuing to work on this au#this is just the final part to the intro essentially#thank you everyone so much for reading as well!!!#it’s been really cool to see that I was firstly able to make a comic at all#but also that everyone seemed to actually understand what I was trying to convey#like it was dumped directly from my brain and somehow we’ve ended up on the same page#so that’s cool :)#my art#gravity falls#twins in time au#Stan pines#Stanley pines#Stanford pines#ford pines
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every time i feel like i haven’t done enough things to be proud of myself during the day there’s the voice of louise glück that emerges softly in my ears and says if you missed a day there’s always the next and if you missed a year it didn’t matter the hills weren’t going anywhere the thyme and rosemary kept coming back.. and i feel like life is beautiful and kind to me again
#one of the few poems i know by heart i have it attached in front of me above my desk + it truly always resurfaces in my brain whenever i fee#bad and like i haven’t done enough. thank u miss glück <3
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Reading Mockingjay as an adult is extra devastating because. Of course the plucky teenager and her ragtag friends aren't going to sneak into a government building to kill the president with a bow and arrow. That's absolutely ridiculous. It's the kind of thing that's only possible in the kind of propaganda that Coin developed. But she's so good at it that in some ways she tricks the reader into thinking that's the kind of story this is, too--even after 3 books reminding us that pretty much everything that Katniss does the second she volunteers is manipulated by adults pulling strings to make propaganda in some form or another.
#rotating it in my brain#monstrous-femme said Coin was using the YA novel format as propaganda#and yeah. YEAH#where's that review that's like. oh. turns out it wasn't about the love story after all.#thg#the hunger games#mockingjay
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